My weekend visit to a boy was fun, fun, fun! This boy is actually getting to me enough to merit a name – let’s call him Distance. I have a very strict no-long-distance policy. I did it once and it ended painfully and horribly. It made me realize that long distance is really not for me, particularly at this point in my life. If I’m ever in a situation where long-distance presents itself, the best thing for me is to wish the other person well, and agree to see how well we like one another upon being in the same place again. I like this boy I went to visit a fair amount.
He does many of the “right” things: sushi date, good cuddler (seriously, this is very important), happy to hold my hand in public, very cute/sweet comments, and we also mesh well – those things that make it so you actually like someone, separate from acknowledging that they would hypothetically be a good boyfriend or girlfriend. He makes me laugh and I can be silly and he listens when I’m excited about really random things, and we have intelligent, interesting conversations.
Awesome! For one weekend. We are not in the same place, and we’re not going to be in the same place anytime in the foreseeable future. Also, I think that sometimes I get overexcited about something that I know can’t happen, because then it’s not actually threatening my independence, and I still get to enjoy the excitement of a possibility and someone new.
Here are some choice moments from over the weekend, leading to the obvious conclusion that we left the weekend feeling mutual contentment with the lack of commitment involved.
Distance: I’d say I’m more like that, where I don’t see the point of pursuing someone unless it’s going somewhere.
Me: Then… [hand gesture beckoning him to continue talking, implying then what the heck am I doing here?]
Distance: Well, I mean if we were in the same place, there’s a high probability that we would date. Even if it’s not now, who knows where this could end up later in life.
Distance: So now we just have to decide who’s moving to the other coast, because I’m not moving.
Me: Haha well work on your five year plan because I’m not leaving California.
/We’re not a couple! Why are we talking about this? And seriously, maybe he doesn’t fully understand that I’m really not the kind of person who makes life plans around others.
Distance: [Some comment fishing for an emotional response from me…I forget the exact words.]
Me: Well obviously I like you. I’m here.
Distance: You do?
Me: Sure. [Shrug.]
Distance: Any chance you can come visit again?
Me: Ummm no, probably not.
Distance: I feel like I owe you a visit.
Me: I’d be happy to see you, but don’t feel any obligation.
Distance: No, no I don’t, I want to see you.
How sweet is that!?
So I suppose this all prompts the question, how often can you talk to someone and visit someone before the lack of relationship becomes a relationship where one person is a cheater?
I like this boy. I like talking to him and I have a lot of fun when I spend time with him. But, we are far away. And even if we weren’t, I have no idea how long I would maintain this level of interest. And, as this is not going to become a relationship, I’m happy to keep other pots simmering. I just hope that this pot doesn’t get burned.