I have received a number of messages from Sam. He is not unattractive, but his profile is incredibly immature. He graduated a year ago. He misses partying SO much. Yes, beer can be tasty. Guess what? There is so much more to life! Go find out, Sam! Grow some balls, grow up! His pictures show him in various states of disarray: On a porch, wearing a blazer without a shirt, and no shoes. With an arm around a buddy holding a beer – slightly out of focus picture, slightly out of focus eyes. In a Halloween costume. With his family…aw that’s actually quite nice.

Sam: Hey! What up with you????
Sam: Find me on facebook, Sam at UCSB!!!!
Sam: Should I stop bugging you…? I think…I think I’m in love!!
Me: From your pictures, it seems like you are the kind of person who is drunk 75% of the time.

Suffice it to say, yes, I think we have nothing in common. I hope he doesn’t read this as ‘wow, you look like so much fun!’ That is not what I mean at all.

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