Guys often don’t realize things that are really obvious to girls. Mostly what freaks out a girl, what comes across as sketchy; that kind of thing.
I went out to coffee with a guy I had met on Match – Sam. He seemed like someone I could be interested in – he graduated from a great school last year, was an athlete with a good job and our conversation was entertaining and flowed from one topic to another naturally. So now we went out to dinner. He picked a nice but not super-fancy restaurant and paid for the meal. He’d said a few things at dinner that struck me as….well not odd, but just characteristic of the kind of person I’m not generally attracted to.
He doesn’t like the kind of people that go to shopping malls. I am most definitely the kind of person that goes to shopping malls. A person I date does not have to like, understand, or even support my obsession with shoes, but they absolutely must tolerate it and not judge me for it. It’s not negotiable. Sam doesn’t really like popular music. Why? Is he 16 and doesn’t want to conform to the oppressive tyranny of the majority? (Thanks for that awesome phrase TJ!) I have no idea, but I do know that while the occasional indie concert sounds fun, I am all for listening to the top 40 on the radio and knowing half the words. Call me unoriginal.
After the date, Sam asked if I wanted to go back to his apartment, where his flatmates were hanging out. The conversation proceeded:
Sam: We don’t have to..
Yes, obviously we don’t have to. If I thought that I was in a situation where I HAD to, my reaction would be far more alarmed than “umm” . . .
Me: Well, really briefly? Is it close?
Sam: Yeah, it’s right around the corner.
We left the restaurant and walked between two stretches of buildings. The passage wasn’t a street but it was definitely wider, better lit, and cleaner than an ally. A “stally,” perhaps.
Me: It’s a good thing you seem trustworthy.
Sam: Why’s that?
Me: I don’t know you that well and we’re walking down a random way?
This was my entirely unsubtle way of saying this is a bit creepy, reassuring words would REALLY be appreciated right now. His response was not exactly what I was looking for.
Sam: Haha, I won’t try anything.
Damn right you won’t try anything because if you did I would karate chop you and you would regret ever knowing how to work the Internet. But also: creepy response! I know he didn’t mean for it to come across that way, otherwise I would have left and not continued this failure-at-socially-acceptable-interaction. We were only at his place about ten minutes before I said I should probably go hail a cab. I’m not entirely certain what his thought process was when he decided to go back to his place. The logical conclusion would be something of the physical nature, but he couldn’t possible be so daft to think that was a possibility when this was only the second time we had ever met. I think it was more of: I usually eat, then go home. Now I am eating with Shortie, now I’ll go home. And she can come too.
If I do see him again, which I am not going to pursue but I’m not actively opposed to either, I’ll make sure to avoid his place and his roommates and that whole situation that took a rather enjoyable date and suddenly launched it to a place where expected behavior was far too uncertain for my comfort.
nagan on Hiking until sunrise >…