I have been flirting with a freshman recently.
Over the past month, our relationship has gone something like this: Meet, flirt, think to myself ‘no, no, he is too young,’ get over that and decide to not analyze anything at all, study together/ flirt on a more consistent basis, completely mislead the poor lad, decide that indeed he is too young and has no idea who he is or what he wants in life yet, and then have the impressively only semi-awkward I-think-of-you-only-as-a-friend-but-sometimes-I-want-to-makeout-with-you conversation. There are a few gems of wisdom I have gained from this experience:
1. If he might be too young, he is definitely too young. I have always had a strict no-younger-men policy. I should have stuck to that. I want someone who knows who they are at least 80% (on the assumption that no one ever knows the last 10% of their identity since identity is subject to change and fluctuation, etc.).
2. There are some nice guys out there! I usually go for complete tools so I assumed that when I stopped calling the freshman, that would be the end and since he doesn’t give a hoot, as most men don’t, he wouldn’t call and we could attest the lack of hanging out to “it fizzled.” Wrong. He did call, he wanted to know “what was going on.” Oh.
3. When you want nothing more than a flirtation, try to make it someone you don’t see nearly everyday. I see the freshman all the time. This made it substantially more difficult to keep the very casual, no strings attached, unemotional banter continuing. ‘How was your day?’ leads to far more details than ‘how was your week?’ and thus you get to know the person more than you would otherwise. If we had a ‘how was your week?’ kind of relationship maybe it would have taken me longer to realize how little we have in common as grounds for anything romantic. It would have prolonged the fun. Shame.
4. This is great, it has led to a new vocab word – HWYW: (adj.) ‘how was your week.’ Referring to a casual, not particularly emotionally invested relationship. It sounds so much better than ‘casual,’ which makes you sound like a slut. I haven’t figured out the pronunciation yet, but I’ll get back to you.
Lucky for me, this guy is a sweetheart. He sent me a follow up text to say we should still hang out and he considers me a ‘good friend.’ Aww! What an ideal situation. And if we end up making out again, it’s cool.
nagan on Hiking until sunrise >…