I recently joined match.com to meet people outside my normal social circles. The emails I have received have ranged from creepy to sweet, funny to awkward. There are many emails I don’t have the heart to respond to and tell them exactly what I am thinking because it would just be so mean. Here are some of the more entertaining ones and the responses I kept to myself.
From: age 25 Campbell, CA
Him: Any luck so far?
Me: No, no luck meeting anyone worthwhile. You?
From: age 25 San Jose, CA
Him: Good day! Hi My name is Sam, well I’m just new in this site. Sorry found your profile and after reading through it seems to me that we have a lot of things in common(especially running & & outdoor activities) that’s why I added you in my favorites. So where do you normally go to do those activities? What are the best ones for you so far?
Him: I just moved In my town for work 6 weeks ago so i don’t know much about our area yet that’s why i normally stay in San Jose too for friends I’ve known before. Well you said your not in Bay area yet. Where you at right now? Alright, hope all is well on you. Always take care!
Him: Hello again. sad that I’m not receiving a response. i was really hoping i could get to know someone like you. 😦
Him: Do you mind if i ask about your name email or if you have messenger or something? Me: No response…seriously, does he think the fourth time’s a charm? Oo now that you mention that you want to talk one more time, let me give you all my contact info!
From: age 29 Roseville, CA Topic: well check me out. Ha.
Him: Just started workin in Mountain View and bored as heck:( Well i liked your pics and what ya wrote so though id would drop a hi. Sam.
Me: i though i liked people who are bored with their life but the lack of apostrophe in ‘id’ did ya in.
From: age 38 Los Gatos, CA Topic: seriously…
Him: promise me you’ll like these beautiful pics when we meet? Sam
Me: promise me you’ll learn to proofread emails if you ever want a response?…and maybe stick to someone born within a decade of you.
From: age 24 Yuma, AZ
Him: Hello there I hope you had a nice day today. You look really beautiful in all your pictures and you are a real fun and cool person to be around and hangout with I would like to get a chance to meet you and probably get to know you of coarse if you would give me an opportunity hope to hear back from you and thanks for reading this hope you have a good day
Him: Hey good morning I know I sent you another email previous to this one bit I would like to say that I think and you seem like a really cool girl to hangout with since you like alot of the outdoor activities that I like I really would like to meet you and hopefully get the chance to invite you to have dinner or watch a movie I’m really looking forward to it and I’m been optimistic that it will happen. Well hope you write me back and hope you had a great day.
Me: Why yes i am a really cool and fun person to be around how did you know i think its great that you are so optimistic even though there is no way i am going to be in contact with you best of luck on match.com to you
From: age 25 San Francisco, CA
Him: How’s it going? Hope this email doesn’t hit the sketchy pile too (I’m sure you’ve gotten a few). Where are you living these days? Cheers, Sam
Me: Did your messages to other girls hit their sketchy piles too?
From: age 27 San Jose, CA Topic: very cultural
Him: very cultural
From: age 23 Sunnyvale, CA Topic: ksdhf;oaisdufailsdnfknadfdsajkfbnasdk;jvhj
Him: Don’t mind the subject header, I just wanted to make my message stand out, so if you’re reading this then it worked haha. Name is Sam btw, I actually just moved here from LA and figure id give this match thing a try.
Me: It’s great to try new things!
From: age 27 San Jose, CA
Him: Hi, how are you? I’m also a runner.
Me: I’m good. (Long pause.) How are you? (Another long pause. Looking around the room, trying not to make eye contact.) Running is fun.
From: age 26 San Jose, CA
Him: Hi! Im sure you get this all the time…But I think you are really pretty! What is your job?
Me: It’s true; I get it all the time. Next time be more creative.
From: age 31 Palo Alto, CA
Him: Hi What do you think of match? I just signed up tonight and it has some good and some bad. When will you be in my area? Sam
Me: Match Pros: Unlimited people watching. Sometimes you meet someone nice. Sheer entertainment. Cons: Getting messages from men far too old for me.
From: age 27 San Jose, CA
Him: Hi There Im Sam. I saw your profile and I wanted to introduce myself. I am 27 and live here in San Jose. From what i gathered from reading your profile you seem like a down to earth women, And we have a lot in common. For Myself I am a Hard Working person. I work hard at my job and then come home to play with my 9 month old dog, then off to the Gym. I live life on the go and never know what to expect next. I love to go out and try new Restraunts, Go to sporting Events, and grab a beer or a glass of wine at a local bar/ winery. I have lived out here in the Bay Area myself for the last 5 years and there is still a lot more i would like to see. It would also be nice to be with a women like yourself to share it with. If you are looking for someone with a good direction in life and knows how to have a good time shoot me a email. I know that here online you have lots of choices so I sure hope to hear back from you. Have a great Week. Sam.
Me: Sprechen Sie Deutsch? Once again an observant Man; I am indeed a down to Earth women (flattering in the royal “we” sense of plurality, perhaps?) but Online there are so many Choices so I dont know if Today is his Day and if I am going to respond. (In German, nouns are capitalized.)